By dixē.flatlin3

What you are about to read will contain a lot of acronyms. And likely a lot of information you may have never cared to know. But there are many strange kinks in the human phenomenon, and I am going to shine a light on a few of them here.

Massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG)


User Interface

MMORPGs are games that mix role-playing video games with multiplayer online games. One of the most well known MMORPG is World of Warcraft (WoW.) For those readers not familiar with online games of this magnitude, it may seem odd that anyone would spend hours interacting with others in a virtual world. Those same readers probably found a link for this article on Facebook, and have played Words with Friends via an application (app) on their smartphone.

I have played WoW on-and-off since 2008. I recently resurrected my account and have enjoyed the new content. I will admit that any online activity can be a time sink. Online games are no different than Internet surfing or accessing social media sites via apps. Time can and does disappear at an alarming rate; however, people engage in many social activities that fall under the same time sink category. What qualifies as social interaction between humans has changed drastically as technological advances continue to breach the gaps between distance and time.

WoW was reported to have approximately 7.8 million subscribers at the end of the year 2013. Realms and factions and races and classes divide these players, who form Guilds to work cooperatively toward completion of tasks. Once a player is familiar with the game and its respective lingo, there are a myriad of subtle nuances to further explore and investigate.

My most recent exploration has been one into the nether regions of Erotic Role Play (ERP.) ERP is an often-mocked topic on the vanilla servers of WoW because in the fantasy land of Azeroth, even hardcore gamers have their limits. ERP is the perfect storm of anonymous online cybersex, geeks and sexual role-playing.

Another member of my guild, or guildie, who appreciates my penchant for the abnormal branches of both sociology and psychology, first introduced me to ERP. It was more of an ‘if you think that was odd, check this out!’ moment, rather than one of impropriety. I never gave it much thought, until I recently reactivated my account and went on a role-playing server for an unrelated event.

Because we were in the area, I was taken into what I would later describe as a fetish club. Late one Saturday evening, we spent hours in a virtual inn, engaged in nothing more than reading the ERP profiles that many publish for their WoW toons. We also wandered about the inn, stumbling upon acts of animated indecency. Needless to say, I was hooked and immediately decided to write an article on the topic.


Common sight in most dark corners of any reputable fetish club

I spent the next week on a reconnaissance mission; I had to create a new toon specifically for use on the ERP server. This toon could not be a newbie (n00b) because that is just lame. I invested several days leveling it, purely for vanity’s sake.


New toon; Built to ERP

I also had to track down the ERP addon that would allow me to read the profiles of other users because my guildie refused to do another night of dramatic readings for me. We communicate via a private audio chat program, and since I did not have the ERP addon during our first outing, he read the often very graphic details to me.

I specifically wanted to go before the Halloween in-game event was over because of the spooky decorations, and there are pumpkins to wear as helms. Once my new toon was leveled, I was ready to go. Only problem was, the server was full and we had to queue. After some time we were able to log-on and we set out for the location where users congregate. The inn has two floors, a basement, and various nooks and crevices for people to hide away. What is most astounding is the shear volume of players when you first enter.


I’m the glowing pirate skeleton dancing on the candy bucket


That’s me dancing with a jack-o-lantern on my head

Rarely have I seen this many players gathered in one location, at one time. I am not an RPer, nor am I an ERPer. I am garden variety gamer. I do it as a distraction and for social interaction. I am introverted by nature, and while I can survive outings In Real Life (IRL,) they require a lot of sedation, and I prefer the peace and quiet of my personal space. I have never engaged in cybersex, I am a cyber virgin; however, I am a sexting pro. In fact, I have a lengthy background in crafting fantasy scenes. I spent several years in the phone sex trade, so it’s not inhibitions that have kept me from cybering. It probably has more to do with the fact that I work at a computer. When I sit down in front of one, I am either working or gaming. Sex doesn’t really cross my mind, but I digress.


On top of a bar, ‘naked’ and in a shell

While the sheer amount of players was impressive, what I found the most intriguing were their associated profiles. Some were blunt and to the point, while others were painstakingly articulate descriptions of characters, histories, racial and class backgrounds, and long lists of kinks.

I have cherry-picked the best (and worst) of what I found. While I read, or listened, I had to do a lot of Googling to determine what a lot of the acronyms meant and what paraphilia they were associated with. That is a lot of alt-tab action, btw.

Humiliation was a common preference; I believe that most of the ERP gamers are submissives. Which is purely conjecture on my point, but those more dominant would naturally be less wordy with their requests. Vore, short for vorarephilia- the act of eating or being eaten – was another popular kink. This one made it on both the likes and dislikes at about the same frequency. Gore was often paired with vore, apparently eating and graphic depictions of violence go hand-in-hand online. She-males, sissification, futa (futanari,) FUTA (fucked up the ass, not the Federal Unemployment Tax Act) and hentai were also very popular with this raucous crowd. Incest, lactation, gaping, fisting, scat, watersports, forced sex/rape/non-consensual, ageplay, breeding, hotdogging, kidnapping, and corruption were other favorites. Bestiality is common due to the varying races in the game. Several of which can shape shift, adding a whole new level of perversion to the lists.


That’s a Horde toon mounting an Alliance toon


Spiders atop a train set

However, most striking was the attention and detail that some users put into their profiles. Literally paragraph upon paragraph of well composed words that detailed scenarios and pure filth.

“…is a striking pale blue Draenei Paladin with long dark purple hair. She would be considered very pretty, but nothing outstanding. Slender with smooth curves and a tight stomach result from her physical training. Her rear end is tight as well, and a little smaller than average for her race, causing her hips to sway gracefully with her tail as she takes each step, rather than bouncing.”

“The fire dies on its own,

leaving us to ourselves but not exactly alone.

I think that something is out there waiting.

Anticipation has grown.

The air is as black as can be.

Can’t even see that my hand is in front of me.

I’m overhearing a whisper, “They won’t escape…

until the blood is set free.”

Now I’m finding my friends,

Hanging form trees, made a bed of a barbed wire fence.

I’m on the loose with my neck in a noose but hey…

I enjoy the intense.”


The one in blue was a domme

“She is a futa with a horse cock that hangs down far, and nearly doubles in size when she got hard. Her balls were also massive, the size of large watermelons, and always made her cock drool out cum. She also has a massive ass that jiggled and swayed when she moved. Her best and biggest feature. It wobbled and jiggled wildly. The massive crevice of her ass was massive, and needed on the fattest and longest of cocks to reach her hole.

Her breasts were also just as large. Her perky breasts easily past a JJ cup, sometimes even larger when lactating milk. Also nearly no kink limits.”

“As hard as life was on the streets of Stormwind it proved even harder in the dark cramped confines of the stockade. Faced with territorial gangs of gnomes and men he learned just how worthwhile his hard won skills actually were. Within a few days the supple effeminate young man was nothing more than property, a set of cum slicked holes with smudged makeup plastered over his face and a red cloth collar around his neck. Passed around like a party favor, he was broken down into a depraved cock hungry whore his days filled with servicing all of the prison’s denizens.”


Vore whore, perhaps?

This article would never end if I shared all that I would like, but alas it must. The time and energy that some players put into character development, describing their preferred scenes in pain staking detail and crafting their ERP profiles was an eye opener for me. The Interwebz is full of pent-up perverts and phenomenal fan fiction writers. I must admit that I have cancelled my WoW subscription and am no longer actively engaged in the new expansion’s content. The time I spent playing, while not wasted, could have been more productive. I naturally hibernate during the hot summer months, but Halloween always beckons the end of this dormant time; the season had come to an end and I was ready to reenter reality.


Day of the Dead bitches!

So the next time you happen to hear someone mention that they play WoW, do not discount them as a nerd who needs to ‘get a life.’ Instead you should ask them if they are into ERP and see where the conversation leads. It might surprise you. And if you happen to find yourself outside the gates of Stormwind, heading toward Goldshire, be sure to stop by the inn. There you might come across a shy, Night Elf Death Knight. She’ll be standing alone in the middle of the debauchery, unimpressed and not amused. Her flowing white hair will frame her face and highlight her fiery, emerald eyes, which compliment the markings on her face. Her skin is pale and luminescent, like the moon itself has blessed the lass with all of its gifts. And her profile will plainly state: Basic bitch. Deal with it.

Until next time, kiddies…

dixē.flatlin3 is a pistol-packing mama from the American Wild West. Having survived more travails than Christian in the Pilgrim’s Progress, she decided to get mean and take it to the world. Honing her acid-sharp wit on MySpace, Facebook, and later Twitter, she became known for compacting volumes worth of vitriolic social commentary into one-liners, which she would throw off with the abandon of a Vegas stripper. She is a long-time contributor to Paraphilia Magazine and also runs its Twitter account. With Dixē Ex Machina she shares her insights into the vagaries of social media, technology, business, and 21st century communications: the good points, the bad points, and suppositions as to where it all might be headed.

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